Kui su elus on käeulatuses midagi .. ilusat, haara sellest kinni. Ära mõtle, et aega on, ega karda, et see puutumisel puruneb. Kui puruneb, siis puruneb - killud on reaalsed, mitte nagu elamata unistused. Ära kahetse ja sammu edasi.

"The hero always comes down the stairs"

Emmalee astus treppidest alla, pilk suunatud sinna, kus esik, avanenud ja sulgunud uks, naisehääl tema isaga vestlemas, viisakusi vahetamas ja siis ta nägi teda. Isa oli just tema õlgadelt kerget suvemantlit võtmas. Peened käsivarred, valgetest pärlitest käevõru. Elsa märkas teda ja naeratas talle. Thomas tutvustas teda seepeale ja kutsus ta sisse. Nad läksid elutuppa, Tom sättis neiud diivanile istuma ja läks kõrvalasuvasse kööki teed tegema. Elsa vaatas talle järele ja mõtles valjusti: "Olen alati lahtist kööki tahtnud", ja Emma vastas veidi häbelikult ja vaikselt: "Meil on kraanikausi kohal aken ka. Seal on põõsad, milles on alati linde. Nõude pesemise ajal saab linde vaadata" - "Mulle meeldivad linnud, eriti pisikesed" - "Mulle ka. Meil on linnubassein ka, aias." Tom naasis ja sekkus kohe vestlusse: "Kui oleks täna väljas soojem, võiksime aias istuda. Loodan, et daamid ei pahanda, et küpsiseid ka tõin ja Em, sulle vist maitsevad need" - "Rohelised viinamarjad! Aitäh, isa!" ja Elsa küsis: "Kas ma võin? Need näevad isuäratavad välja", ja Em lubas.
Kui Elsa minema hakkas, rääkisid nad vaikselt - Em oli just magama läinud, nad ei tahtnud teda üles ajada. "Tundub, et sa meeldid talle. Täpsustame näiteks homme, helistan" - "Jah, ootan su kõnet", soovisid siis teineteisele head õhtut ja Elsa jalutas süttivate laternate valguses öhhe.


*** A try to translate:***


Emmalee came down the stairs, her eyes set there, where the hallway, the door what had opened and closed, a woman’s voice talking with her father, exchanging frases of politeness and then she saw her. Father was just taking her light summer coat from her shoulders. Thin arms, a bracelet of white pearls. Elsa noticed her and smiled to her. Thomas introduced her and then invited her in. They went to the living room, Tom settled the ladies on the couch and went to the kitchen to make some tea. Elsa followed him with her glance and thought out loud:”I’ve always wanted an open kitchen” and Emma replied in a bit of a shy quiet voice: “We have a window too, above the sink. There are bushes there and in these are always birds. You can watch birds while washing dishes” – “I love birds, especially the little ones” – “Me too. We have a bird pool too, in the garden”. Tome came back and joined the conversation right away: “If it would be warmer outside tonight, we could sit in the garden. I hope that the ladies don’t mind, that I brought cookies too and Em, I think you like these” – “Green grapes! Thank you, dad!” and Elsa asked: “May I, They look delicious” and Em said yes.
When Elsa was about to leave, they spoke in lowered voices – Em had just went to bed and they didn’t want to wake her up. “Seems, that she has taken a liking to you. We can talk about details tomorrow, I’ll call” – “Yes, Ill be waiting for your call”, they said goodnight and Elsa walked, in the glimmer of street lanterns just lighting up, into the night.

Lumm ja ärkamine * Spell and awakening

Pärast einet, täis kõhust rahulolu tundes möödus aeg neile aeglaselt - autode müra nendeni ei kostnud, kadudes nende ja maantee vahelisse valgusküllasesse ruumi. Selles venivas heleduses kutsus Thomas ettekandja ja tellis endalegi pirukatüki ja veel ühe kohvi, ta kaaslane aga otsustas end hellitada ja tellis jäätise puuviljadega, "Värskendav nauding," kommenteeris ta oma valikut. "Mu tütre meelistoit - kui võimalik, toituks ta vaid jäätisest" - "Oh, tehtud, Itaalias. Küll vanemana, kuid vaimustus oli nagu lapsel. Ja teie tütar, te mainisite ta vanust, aga te pole öelnud ta nime." Aeg naasis koos argisuminaga, Thomas ärkas justkui lummast ja talle meenus, et ta ei ole selle võluva olevusega kohtamas, vaid tööintervjuul ja vastas: "Emma, Emmalee. Ta nimi on Emmalee, kuid enamik kutsub teda Emmaks või Em´iks". "Kõlab küpselt" - "Ongi - ma mõtlen, ta on nangu väikest kasvu täiskasvanu..." ja ta vaikis, ta kaaslane langetas pilgu. Õige, see tüdruk on ju kaotanud ema. Thomas kõhatas ja naases oma rolli. Ta küsis, millal oleks Elsal võimalik nende juurde tulla, Emmaga tutvuda ja leppisid kokku kolmapäeva õhtu peale. Lainetena tulid ja taandusid tundmused, mis olid teda vallanud eine ajal, kohisesid tema kõrvades. Korraga tundis ta ennas väga ebamugavalt, vaatas kella ja vabandas, et peab lahkuma; palus ettekandjalt arve, maksis härrasmehelikult ka daami arve ja lahkus kiirelt, veelkord vabandades. Elsa vaatas teda naeratades, muigas korra kelmikalt, võttis siis oma käekoti ja kindad ning lahkus samuti.



*** A try to translate: ***


After the meal, feeling contentment from the full stomach, time passed slowly to them – the noise of cars passing by didn’t reach them, it disappeared into the luminous space in-between them and the street. In this lingering brightness Thomas called for the waitress and ordered himself a piece of pie too and another cup of coffee, his date decided to treat herself and so ordered ice cream with fruits, “A refreshing delight” she commented her choice. “My daughter’s favorite food – if possible, she would eat nothing but ice cream” – “Oh, done that, in Italy. Much older, but the adour was like of a child’s. And your daughter, you mentioned her age, but you haven’t told her name”. Time returned with the everyday buzz. Thomas felt like waking from a spell and remembered, that no, he is not on a date with this charming creature, it is a job interview and answered: “Emma, Emmalee. Her name is Emmalee, but most call her Emma or Em” – “Sounds mature” – “She is, a little adult…” and shut up. His date lowered her eyes. Right, this girl has lost her mother. Thomas coughed and returned to his role. He asked at what time it would be possible for Elsa to come to their place, to meet Emma and they settled on Wednesday evening. Feelings and sensations what had had a hold on him during the meal were gushing over him like waves, once leaving, once coming. Suddenly he felt very uncomfortable, took a look at his watch and said, that he must leave now; asked for the bill from the waitress, like a gentleman paid for the lady as well and left in a hurry, apologizing once again. Elsa watched him with a smile, then gave a canny smirk and took her purse and cloves and left too.

Gorgeous food

check here for an healthy and delicious recipe - another one from Addicted to Veggies

& even when not cooking.. those colors are amazing!

Db 15

Being without. A ring on a chain around the neck, for the hand would have left for 75 years if it would´ve been demanded. "... 75 or how long do you people live" and thrown in the face of the giver. The next day it was on Sakura´s desk with the chain and he was gone, didn´t return. He did think of it, tried.. but couldn´t - they were on the other side of the cap. Sode had ran after him the day he ... and they talked. He couldn´t accept the told, but understanding seeped in. He looked at the fire without blinking until it went out, thanked Sode and walked away.
Db let herself fall back into the chair, closed her eyes and breathed out "He could have tried". The sound of water dribbling, rain remained alone.

tegudega, mitte sõnadega
kuidas siis oli sõna alguseks... ju läbi südame
linnud valged lendavad moonide kohal
ja mina olen väike nagu liblikas

*

trough doing, not words
when how was the word the beginning... i guess through the heart
birds white fly above poppies
and i am as small as a butterfly

What happens, when the worst comes across... the dark you thought was past takes over today and threatens tomorrow? What do you do? Where do you go, when you know, that it follows everywhere... "Don´t let it take over", Gray´s anatomy.

Db 14

Everything was falling and every piece unbound took a piece of her with it. There was no flesh nor blood, she felt herself disintegrating as she was ash in the wind and yet she felt rain when being whisked away.
That was the first time. She thanked the heavens for there being nobody else around and hurried away. She had been watching a waterfall and.. had lost herself in it. It lasted for a second or so.. and she regathered fast, making the disintegration feel like.. a whisk of rain.

Sunbathing while reading schoolstuff with shadows of forget-me-not flowers on the pages.. summer, really

Depressing: a 3 month drawing schedule and it is not working, b´cause I sort of don´t want to do anything. I will. A messed up head and... can´t choose a new anime to watch or decide not to wach any new ones besides the 3 running ones... am not going to think about that stuff... for the next 4 days ;) :D Anyways.. out with Dorian Gray, the book... as soon as Monarchy of Roses finishes playing.

brushing off yesterdays
to the ground, the soil of past
face the sun, the relentless hope
hair waving in the wind, the voice
not heard and yet etched into one´s soul
so deep from the very beginning
so familiar, so strange
... ticking of the clock on a lazy afternoon



http://klassikaraadio.err.ee/helid?main_id=1416083&lang=

20 päeva

Sõnadepuuduses. Selleks tulebki lugeda, lugeda, lugeda...