The one traveling light

The feeling of falling at every step, the speed, the air on the face. He ran down the mountainside, from tree to tree - catch, push away, catch, push away, until he crashed into the level land, fell to the grass panting. There, on the ground, kneeling he looked up into the sky, eyes locked in the blue. He let himself fall to his back there, and watched. Clouds traveling, bound by the high winds. Beautiful. So empty. Time passed, how much? The light had dimmed and his stomach began to growl, reminding him the lack of food. He hadn't taken many provisions, nature provides, he had thought. Always has. He got up to his knees and had a look around. Some roots, bulbs, yes, those dark greenish big pointy leaves over there by the big rock, definitely juicy sweet bulbs. The namegivers had been true and humble - honeyroot they had called it. And then he remembered.. out of water. These lands are dry, no lakes nor rivers. Just grass. His flask had been empty since morning. "Better find a village" and after a short thought, "before it gets too dark". People around here are a bit suspicious about the dark and those who roam in the dark. Any mark, any ... oh, there! A border-marking on the rock, near the honeyroot. Village boundary, thus a village should be near. And so there is, smoke and where is smoke, there is a hearth. He got up, dug up the honeyroot, rubbed it clean with his hand and grass and ate it fast, big bites, then wiped his mouth dry with his sleeve. Finished, time to move on.

Mad with organic? Cleaning my home

An unusual post. Or has this thing been getting more and more eclectic all the time, so nevermind.

I have been going crazy these days, because of moving to a new place and sharing it with my man, who is a lot less of a monk (Adrian*) than me. Plus I have to be extra sensitive about smells of household products and a morning person, while he is not and so on.

And I have been very interested in organic ways of living, cleaning included, for years. And because of being super-sensitive to smells and stuff and super-angry when someone stinks up the flat with a regular chemical cleaner one am... our home has been getting greener and greener. Or maybe I just have an amazing man, go figure.


Some green stuff... My favs are baking soda, green soap, vinegar and we have store-bought eco cleaners too.


There is lots and lots of info on organic cleaning and living on the Net. Some essentials would be green soap and baking soda paste for fridge, sinks, getting rid of mold and other stuff needing scrubbing (soda is a bit* abrasive) , vinegar for glass surfaces and surfaces needing disinfecting (soda is a disinfectant too) and oh yes, I was clothes with green soap, using the washing machine and using soda for hand-washing dishes, when not using the eco dish-washing liquid . Here we can buy pretty cheap and quality liquid green soap and I use it a lot.

Lemon. I have not got around to using lemon, but yeah, it is in the eco armada.

And I try to evolve... meaning getting even more mad with the organic. Is it good or bad, who knows.
My next lesson-i-want-to-learn is how to use vodka and to try using the not-so-aromatic-anymore coffee I salvaged from being thrown away, plus getting the fridge not so dismal. And what to do with the sponges, how to get them dry and sanitary.

Challanges-challanges, nonstop. :D Wish me luck :D

People talking in the stairway. Kind happy voices. Stories unfolding. Made me smile.

Katrin Aava: kuidas ohvrist saab süüdlane - Arvamus

Katrin Aava: kuidas ohvrist saab süüdlane - Arvamus

gray flakes

what is in the blood
that makes one weak
what lacks in bones
that makes one fragile
what hammers the skull
that makes one fall apart
what say you, who are strong
to those lost
to those broken
senseless
...
how many have fallen in this night
mistaken for snow

Some reading to start getting to the gist: “Special Secrets Bill threatens transparency”

from pages

United Nations Human Rights

The Japan Times

The Ecologist

Rohelise nurga alt, seekord moest ja inglise keeles

How forest becomes fashion

If this is true, this is great: A Green Company

Filmist rohelisema nurga alt

Pärast võtteplatsilt lahkumist

Lugemist lugemisest, lugemusest ja muust

"Kle... mis homseks on" Andres Arrak
"Kõik kassikullaks" Kivisildnik
"Lugemine kui privileeg" Andrus Kivirähk

***

"Elukutse valid terveks eluks!"

Kui neelatud on pisarad
mis jääb
kui tehtud kõik
mida tegema pidi
kui järgitud
kõik reeglid
Ma ei taha uppuda
mitte enam
mitte seekord
Ehk siis on taevas
päriselt sinine

Ama

Imagine a fairy tail, oh, tale world with elves and hobbits. Imagine a deep deep sea and then the deepest depth of that sea, where from the dakness to the light above water reaches a giant seashell-like castle. In that castle imagine there to be sunlight and big big trees, flowers and birdsong and in all that wonder sea folk treading, skins of shades of sea. And then you see a flash of red. One single pale face among faces shades of blue and green. A human girl in a long red dress with emerald eyes looking straight at you, smiling and turning away, walking, being soon imersed in the seashaded crowd. Meet Amaryl, Ama, from the court of The Sea King. Daughter of Land among Children of The Sea. The only one..

8Db8 2

Or have I got it all wrong... they are the thoughts, the dreams and we the hands, the legs. The whisper to make us ponder, puzzle... Ones thoughts and dreams have come to us, many over oh so much, time and space.

8Db8

You think there is no hope.. Fine. I will show you, that there is hope, that there always is hope. I will bring them here. The damned ones, the ones banned and locked away. The ones that dwell in the hearts. The heart is eternal, did you know? A deep breath. They are coming

for I want words what can cut illusion
or nothing at all
words forged in dreams and tears
the ones destined to come
walking on a burned bridge
thin air witholds lacquer and red paint
and a promise
a butterfly has been aroused
and with that memories take flight
become ambitions, a crest on a flag
- dreams reborn is my destination
V10

Meaning.. Pictures! :D

Me on Pinterest http://www.pinterest.com/walendra/

Someone from Db ;)

See oli... "Hirotta"

Mori XD

http://iloveshabbylove.blogspot.com/2011/08/mori-girl.html

Free will

It haunted her. Being a part of the whole, listening to that, being washed over by the resolve of one. Free will can not be denied, even on that level. How this one soul had the ability to question and to negotiate the being on that level... How can that be? Yes, you have caught my attention.

A voice

A voice facing eternity, Eternity:

I will not move

- ALL MOVES, ALL FLOWS

I will not. Never

- ONE CAN NOT DENY THE ALL

I am not going anywhere

- A RIVER CAN NOT FLOW

I am staying right HERE.

The residents

Not many residents of the city walked in the wild grass or beneath the unkempt trees, nor saw lakes and rivers - they rather knew, that there were such things somewhere and kept walking the paved paths, sometimes crossing bridges, rivulets and streams, rarely noticing them. Maybe this was the price, they were not there to gaze at the beauty surrounding them - they were there so beauty could be.

Arcs in the green

The light resided, it became walls and floors, glistening ceilings of a white city under a blue sky, a sunless sky. There the light came to reside in walls, floors, ceilings and the ones, who dwelled there. The nights were dark, darkest shade of blue, no moon, no stars. Towers and arcs, arcadiums and atriums, long narrow paths unraveling across green fields, sides striped with cypress trees, dark and straight, wise and old. Till came the walls and beyond them the wilderness.

Out of the light

She could not breathe. She could not open her eyes. The only thing there was was the pain. Hands pressed on her heart, fear, feeling of being ripped apart. Clutching. Or I´ll break, i´ll break. A whisper. Warm breath tingling her ear and then vanished. Silence. She breathed, breathed the first breath. A wave of light pulsated from her tho the furthest corner. her heart calmed, the tension in her body let go. Rise, she thought and so she rose from her knees to stand tall for as long she could and opening her eyes, walked. Walked out of the still vibrant light, and with her the rest of her kin, the angels and the first one who came from the light, she, was the queen of angels, Aokuma.

Day. The White

Where can you tell the end where the waves are white, the shores are white as too are the skies above them, where do you tell it to be, the end, the beginning? The White seas. The White Shores, where´re The Towers to keep guard of all, that may have a beginning and an end. Eight of them, these white places. Places of peace, calm. Borderlines. Faces. All of them have a face, the face of the bearer of the soul of the sea, shore, sky. Eyes tainted with eternity. Pale blue, one of them was a young woman with pale blue eyes, which seemed sad, always. She was the one, who could not bear any of it any more. Out of the tower she walked, to the end of the last bridge and into the waves she went, thus becoming the one to bear it all. Were there ever such seas? Shards of a mirror long broken and lost.

Seven skies of coal...

Dash!

The ooddest things can be odd to people. The simplest thing is to agree to disagree, care about the oddballs next to us and the everlasting need to understand, to see all for at least a little tiny fraction of odd who-knows whatness. Do not do to others what you do not want to be done to yourself - translating that was oddly difficult :P :D plus the "nut" instead the "not" in the original sentence - hehe, sometimes I just love typos. Relative etics, the above was the golden rule what I learnt in that room, that uni lesson I happened to attend by mistake. Yet all remains relative. One good may do bad.. so to end this dash-posting: the heart matters.

I am one of these ...

... little creatures

Bitter

People leave, fear, pull away. Why do I remember backs not smiling faces. We fear, we leave and are taught not to look back. Not to run back, to clasp the hands of those we love, who we fear to lose, but risk to hold. We hold rarely. We walk. We fear.

... says the fool, who left

This is what overwhelmes me when I listen to OP and other anime music

True, anime is fiction. What is fiction? What fuels one's imagination, passion, shapes one's self... . Yes, like everything else anime has a dark side, and yet into my darkness it has brought so much light, made my smile so much more true and sincere. So to me it is not only an escape, a vent, but also sunshine, the warmest I have known on the darkest hours of my life, reminder of wide open blue seas, my faith in myself and my capability to make my dreams real


*Creating this* Animelaulud a list of anime songs :D

In veins

Is it a blessing or a curse to have something .. what clears all storms, dellusions if set before it? Something, what wakes up, stirrs wide awake and sets you face to face with all, what was hidden? Given a mirror, the image left long ago .. a frame remained, a glass shattered, pieces running in veins amidst blood

Raise

A fool dressed in blue and green, lost in realms not existent.

Soundtrack

Rustle the leaves
Take petals from the blooms
Carry it, carry it far
Away, away from all
Be thinner than air
Out of sight
Safe atlast
When breathe in
and out
rise a storm within
rely your wings on this wind
When the hand was raised
crossing the blade
what was born
but only whispers in the winds

Rise

We fall, so we would learn how to stand up. To stand, noticing all the visible and unvisible who gave their hands to help us rise.

ON IRA by ZAZ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8IjWHBGzsu4

Translation of lyrics. A beginner's try.



ON IRA ZAZ

On ira écouter Harlem au coin de Manhattan
On ira rougir le thé les souks à Amman
On ira nager dans le lit du fleuve Sénegal
Et on verra blûler Bombay sous un feu de Benegale




On ira gratter le ciel en dessous de Kyoto
On ira sentir Rio battre au de Janeiro
On lèvera nos sur yeux sur le plafond de la chapelle Sixtine

Et lèvera nos verres dans le café Pouchkine




-Refrain-
Oh qu’elle est belle notre chance
Aux milles couleurs de l’être humain
Mélangées de nos différences
A la croisée des destins




Vous êtes les étoilles nous sommes l’univers
Vous êtes un grain de sable nous êtes le désert
Vous êtes mille pages et moi je suis la plume
Oh oh oh oh oh oh




Vous êtes l’horizon et nous êtes la mer
Vous êtes les saisons et nous sommes la terre
Vous êtes le rivage et moi je sui l’écume




On dira que poèts n’ont pas de drapeux

On fera des jours de fête autant qu’on a de héros
On saura que les enfants
sont gardiens de l’âme
Et qu’il y a des raines autant

qu’il y a des femmes




On dira que les rencontres

font les plus beaux voyages
On verra qu’on ne mérite
que ce qui se partage
On entendra chanter des musiques d’ailleurs
Et l’on saura donner ce que l’on meilleur



--------
Refrain
--------


Vous êtes les étoilles nous sommes l’univers
Vous êtes un grain de sable nous êtes le désert
Vous êtes mille pages et moi je suis la plume
Oh oh oh oh oh oh




Vous êtes l’horizon et nous êtes la mer
Vous êtes les saisons et nous sommes la terre
Vous êtes le rivage et moi je sui l’écume
Oh oh oh oh oh oh









We will hear Harlem to Manhattan
We’ll redden tea in the markets of Amman
We will swim in the river Senegal
We will burn Bombay in the fire of Benegal




We will scrape the skies above Kyoto
We will feel the beat of Rio to Janiero
We will raise up our eyes to the ceiling of the chapel Sixtine
And lift our sunglasses in Café Pushkin




-Refrain-
Oh this is our beautiful chance
To million colors of being human
The mix of our differences
At the crossroads of destiny




You are the stars, we the universe
You are a grain of sand, we are the desert
You are million white pages and I am the feather
Oh oh oh oh oh oh




You are the horizon and we are the sea
You are the seasons and we are the Earth
You are the shore and I am the sea foam




They say that poets have no flags
We will have days of celebration
as many as we have heroes
We will know that children are the guardians of love
And that there are as many queens
as there are women




We say first encounters are

the most beautiful travels
We see, that deserve only as
what we can share
We can hear the music of beyond the seas
And know, how we can give the best of us



--------
Refrain
--------


You are the stars, we the universe
You are a grain of sand, we are the desert
You are million white pages and I am the feather
Oh oh oh oh oh oh




You are the horizon and we are the sea
You are the seasons and we are the Earth
You are the shore and I am the sea foam
Oh oh oh oh oh oh








Me kuuleme Harlemit Manhattanini välja
Me tee värvime punaseks Ammani turgudel
Me ujume Senegali jões

Me põletame Bombay Bengali tules




Me kriibime taevast Kyoto kohal
Me tunneme Rio rütmi Janieroni välja
Me tõstame oma silmad Sixtuse kabeli lakke

Ja tõstame eest päikeseprillid Puškini kohvikus




-Refrään-
Oh see on meie ilus võimalus

Miljonile inimeseks olemise värvile
Meie erinevuste segule
Saatuse ristmikul




Teie olete tähed, meie oleme universum
Teie olete liivatera, meie oleme kõrb
Teie olete miljon valget lehte ja mina olen sulg
Oh oh oh oh oh oh




Teie olete horisont ja meie oleme meri
Teie olete aastaajad ja meie oleme Maa
Teie olete rand ja mina merevaht




Öeldakse, et luuletajatel pole lippe

Meil on niipalju pidupäevi
kui palju meil on kangelasi
Me teame
et lapsed on armu kaitsjad
Ja et on nii palju kuningannasid
kui on naisi




Me ütleme, et esmakohtumised
on kõige ilusamad reisid
Me näeme, et väärime vaid seda, mida suudame jagada
Me saame kuulda
meretagust muusikat
Ja me oskame anda endast parimat



--------
Refrään
--------


Teie olete tähed, meie oleme universum
Teie olete liivatera, meie oleme kõrb
Teie olete miljon valget lehte ja mina olen sulg
Oh oh oh oh oh oh




Teie olete horisont ja meie oleme meri
Teie olete aastaajad ja meie oleme Maa
Teie olete rand ja mina merevaht
Oh oh oh oh oh oh

Will of the Flame

So .. distance is kept. Everything and every time from afar. The cold lingers. I can not help. I feel cold, so cold. I keep the doors open, windows too and walk over fields, trough forests, cross seas and rivers and still .. only the cold lingers. Probably there is too much wind here for a flame to burn or .. is the flame in fear of burning down this house of wind.

Thus this house must be a house of busy hands and long bookshelves.

Speak

Maybe ... maybe the key is to keep on speaking no matter how loud the roars of the tide. Just keeping on speaking from the heart with the heart of the sea.

Sometimes the real feels like a dream, unbound and wild

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bU9eQDWya6A

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UNoi7HHpLSQ

Bb

Everytime someone dreams a dream from the heart, but with heart lets it go a bluebird is born and this bluebird flies to another heart and there nests, sings, lives.

*I add* - Be a dragon

Frinds ;) from Tumblr

Rosemary

Tears dry. Heart is healed by life. It always is. The most precious lost is given a new form and given once more to our embrace. I have lost people so dear and been given new people so unbelievably like the ones lost. Yes, lost to death. They should have been gone, death as the end, the cut and from there emptiness, empty blank spots never to be filled again ... . And yet .. . Yes, they are not the same, but I recognize that what I have been given pieces, lost puzzle pieces back. Not the whole, the complicated unique, but shards. Shards what my heart had missed, what were bound to my story still unfolding. Given, trancending death. Unbelieveable, but ... my heart knows. So my heart trusts life. It's ups and downs and it trusts oneself, for heart is life. Life is heart.

You

As I have told before I mainly write for my own pleasure .. maybe it is because I can not believe that I have people interested in my writings (because of personal history of certain kind). So - it would make me very happy if I could get to know You, who visit this page, read my writings. Show Yourselves ;)

Be. Fly. Dream Real.
Your's sincerely
Aoi tori

Fly!

Be true. Be loyal. Never lie to yourself. Do not please, but love completely. The blade has not dulled. Yes, I do not know anything. Yes, I am a mess. A perfect mess in a world what is a perfect mess. That's why this is the best way for me to be. Yes, I am lost. But who knows the way anyways? Yes, I am overruled by my feelings and fears. But I face them. Thus my blade is sharp. Yes, I talk too much. Do you know for how long I was silenced? I use my voice, my words. Because I want my swords to rest and my words to learn how to fly above limits, above pain, beyond the void between Us. So ... I do speak in riddles, but from there leave for you to find all of me. Nothing hidden, only shrouded by mist. Be true. Be loyal. Do not please, but love completely.

The Blue Bond

Why had she done it? To escape, to run? Yes, she had ran. Ran away from everything but what she was running away from: her own demons. Will they still help her? All of those she ran away from, the ones she cared about the most. Will the bond last? She thought looking into the vast blue skies, took a breath and picked up her sword. Grasping it tight she walked over the edge to face ... herself.

*_* a.k.a Full

Once she said those words she could not go back. She had come all that way and now there was no return. All had changed. Everything. She now stood in the middle of vast emptiness, waving and waging around her. Empty, yet she tasted salt on her lips. She was full of sea, she no more knew if she was a ship lost in the storm or the storm herself. All she could do was to let go and fall, fall so deep that nothing could be seen again and there to see it all. Down there was madness, and she seeked no happiness. She had never thought of happiness, happiness was one of the things she thought she had lost, lost so long ago. Now after coming all this way she was falling into arms, that catch her and where are the depths now? There are only these arms, this warmth. Still, she was falling, deeper and deeper... to find so much more than she ever imagined. In the emptiness things illuminated, so many, so bright, so beautiful. How much love there was already, had been for such a long time. Yes, she had known of it, but now she felt it with every cell, every bit of her being. Immersed in this feeling, filled to the brim she cryied tears of joy, whilst held warm and tight.

The Ever Lake

Sometimes I feel like I am someone from somewhere that does not exist any more. The stories that unravel in my mind are about queens and lost kingdoms, but I myself have roots in loss. The past, the water flown, that you can never get back to - they say. Still the 8 reminds me something that has not actually been, but has always been with me. I remember a little lake or actually a lower spot in what rain and melt snow gathered in my home forest. Memories of pinetrees and sky and clouds reflecting on it's surface, a willow growing there, little flowers too .. different species .. a big beautiful and scary moth/ butterfly what I call Oleander resting on a rock on a summer day with soft golden haze, dragonflies and damselflies, blue and black .. all on that small clearing not bigger then 8 by 7 metres .. lost. I was so sad and angry. They turned my home forest, my magic land into a modern health park. Amongst other changes they dug the small water-gathering-spot bigger, into a pond .. leaving cut trees and traces construction on the site .. they didn't even clean it up .. they just destroyed .. so I felt and for years it was very hard for me to go walk in my most beloved place. Until surf practice when I ran there with others .. I learned to love this place again .. new views, memories. My heart rejoiced. Every time I go to my home island I try to visit that place, feel the obligation to do so .. but I often don't. Some things are so .. so important, so dear .. that they cut heart and soul like a blade. That forest has made me understand the meaning of being connected .. one of the most beautiful and painful parts of my life, of me. The loss of this mirror trough what I saw and loved this world.

Nooruse forest. The Ever Lake

Db 37

Db sat behind her desk, writing, doing open-close movements with her left hand. Open. Close. Open. A warm feeling at her palm made her turn her head and she smirked: it works. A flame bloomed and withered, but came back to life when she opened the little window. She closed her eyes and gave it life. Freedom. The flame disappeared, but she knew, that she had made another ally.

Inspiratsioon!

http://mellupesa.blogspot.fr/2013/07/maari-soekov.html

Shards

Young Aokuma. Raven. Quotes from Day with The Young Queen and King. All from pre 2009

Db 36

"You are still here? It is such a beautiful day outside"

Silver couldn't not be shocked everytime he heard this voice. Sometimes he felt like such a freak of nature. He had carried her to The Tower Of Black Birds, withered and weak on his arms and she had slipped into the eternal rest, death sleep of angels. Death! She had been dying in his arms. He still felt her on his arms. He still morned his mother and sister, both who he had carried to death.

He swallowed and looked at her. "Mother, do not sneak up on me like that!" or is this really her mother? This smirking creature with a straw hat ... He covered his face with his palm. This can not be. Jean overalls - so the ripples of Els's being had reached here. But this is not all that bad. It is better than he could have ever imagined.

"I'll be in the garden" - "There are audiences today" - "It is up to the youth now and I can retire and be a plain old gardener" and before he could argue, she left.



The sun shone high, she wiped sweat from her forehead and tried to dig out a dandelion. "I'll settle you in the herb section, don't worry" she was speaking with the little yellow, who had decided to grow among lilies. "It is too dark for you here, babe" and she petted the bud.


"Queen, landlords from Everleigh seek the councel of the Eldest. Pardon"

"I am busy here, go get Ira..." and she stopped.

She sighed to the baby dandelion: "They'll never let me be, will they" and stood up. "Tell them that I will be there shortly".

He had been at throne for longer than she was and still there are matters they wish to discuss only with her. She settled her spade and straw hat on a garden chair and followed the guards.

The rooms. She had spent such long hours between those white glittering walls. Now she could not stand them. No, she didn't hate them nor her past. She just preferred being in the Sun now. Thank you, girl. Thank you for bringing us the Sun, she thought as setting the final feather in place to walk out as The Queen, The Eldest, The First Angel - Aokuma. "This is all yours, come home".

Db 35

"I do not want all of you to do this" and she let go. Falling from skies. Looking from high skies. At one's self.
"Midnight, dive! To the Depths!" and like a hawk The Queen passed falling Db, soon disappearing to a place not heaven nor earth.

Db woke from her bed. Did I see a dream? Her heart ached. Got to make some tea.

Db 34

As he had feared, the law was firm. Of course, it is the base of everything! To seperate from chaos it had been formed, firm and strict. Rutheless. And he had worn it's crest, held it high with pride! King.. Of Angels! He felt his heart. Beating. His single life was the linchpin of all of this law, he was the law. She.. was the chaos. She was his heart. Thus she was his crest, his law. He looked outside, while turning his head he saw his reflection from the mirror. Short silver hair. I guess I am no raven no more, and smiled

Db misc 1.2

Peace was brief. Pain tore from shoulder to hip. A bright red flash. Taste of blood. Blood. Bloodsigns! "Base! And pressed her bloodcovered hand to the floor of her home, activating red runes running across floor, walls and ceiling, she fell unconcious into the dust in the sandrocks.

She smiled and disintegrated. Sun shone on the red rock walls.

Midnight

Gives off the feeling of Midnight from Db

Hirotta 6

Ta kammis oma veest tumedaid juukseid ja vaatas end peeglist, enda tumedatesse silmadesse. Mõtted, sõnad, tunded ja juuksehari langeb öökapile, killud klaasi, 7 aastat halba õnne. Hetkeks ei olnud vaikust. Seal, kus peegeldusid vastu vastuseid otsivad silmad, on teravate servadega tühjus. Tühi tuba. Öökapil lebav katkine juuksehari. Vaikus.

leave

get your clothes off
with them cast off your feelings
pains and aches
dive in without thinking
let the water take you back
trust, it will carry you
light, light, clear

Open

breathe out the anger
breathe in freedom, fresh
rip the veil from sharp eyes
let the heart be gentle
open thy hands
wide
the horizon is yours
and you the horizon's

First. France

I am in France. Have been for a month. Doesn't feel like it. I have had several problems here because of my health and so I have not enjoyed it fully. France. I can not speak French and am tired from the winter... but I like it here. I do miss my friends a lot, but am trying to be happy here, little by little. Yes, I can not speak French, can not be a part of this place because of it, but I can feel French - a vibe warm, sharp and kind. I can not understand, but I can look out the window over fields of yellow blooming trees and hear buzzars flying near, take the "little mountain path" to the glimmering lake. I feel that I have shelled up along the way, but things change, I can change. Just have to decide, who I want to be. Imagination is the limit - Db. :)

Hirotta 5

Klaara sisenes tuppa ja istus toolile. Õigemini vajus, lastes kogu oma raskusel sellele langeda... oma õlgadelt ära, hetkekski ... . Ta lasi oma peal kuklasse vajuda, nagu oleks seegi olnud raske. Ja siis ta hingas, surmraskelt ja sügavalt. Jah, tema jaht on veretu, kuid oh kui õel. Kuidas ta vihkas seda valutavat inimsüdant oma rinnus, oma südametunnistust! Ta oli peaaegu seal, kuid oli taandunud. Nõrk. Nõrku ei jahi. Nälg oli ta niigi kaugele ajanud, kuid mitte edasi. Tal oli paha, tühjas kõhus keeras, kuid pigem see ... . Puudutus. Ta õlgadele asetati pleed. Hääl. Lauale asetati tass. Lõhn - piparmünditee. Pisarad valgusid silma - ta oli kodus, lõpuks ometi.

Locked

All flows
my blood in my vanes
the air on my face
My eyes are locked
yet the world keeps turning
and so I'll go
still something has changed
- I hear a new song now
and to that I dance!

A Wish

i do not want to get used to silence, i want to become friends with silence

Salix Mynt

The format of Db

The first episode is found by Dattebayo, the rest by Db using the search module on the blog.

Episodes with numbers are connected, but only somewhat. Basically I am sticking to freeverse, meaning a free form of writing. Abstract, hard to follow, but enjoyable to write and as a silly blogger that comes first to me.

Db fragments with "msc" added into the title are free and unconnected to the storyline until a I connect them b you connect them. :)

Msc are born after the merge with Day etc and a break in writing in general - I need some extra space to start again and the msc format gives me that.


So, I hope that You hang on and chew trough the mess, if you want :)




Hewa
Paimpont, France
200613

Db msc1

She listened to the music, forgetting everything else. Sweet smell of her favourite orchids and music filled her to the brim. Days like this.. are worth staying alive. The last day she had spent sleeping, the weeks before that she had spent in her sandrock base. An inhabited crater, what she in addition surrounded with a constant life repellant field. Trough beleiving she connected her blood and will and created bloodmarks - between those she could move in an instant without using energy to do it - but true,extra energy, being tied by blood still took a toll on her, a constant third of her strength. For safety. She needed a home to return to. She needed life around her and The Dome was so her only option. Biology Centre, where the little left of Earth's wildlife was preserved and researched - under a massive protective shield, from that - The Dome. Here was greenery, here .. were flowers. I'd die without flowers - she knew long long ago.

Leaving thy heart

cut the bonds once formed
leave the despair and watch
if once seemingly strong
grows green again
or withers...
leave thy teared heart
the river flows on

a hundred seas in skies lit up in gold
a foot touched the shore

Ai

Love is not about size. Nor length or by any other measure. One brief moment or a lifetime, maybe only a hunch - and yet it is eternal, all-powerful and probably that, what keeps the world turning.

So.. what is it all about? Honestly - I do not know. And I am OK with it. I just do what I do.. being open and walking on. I meet and have met amazing people on this road of mine. I cross bogs and rivers, pass trough towns and malls and love all of it. All of You. Arigatou!

Kellegile

Heliträkk

näpuga vead liivale read, aga lainet ei tule
viimane hingetõmme, kuid surm ei vii
ärkan, kuid ulmad jäävad
ületamatu müür - kuskil on maaim. Teine
Kaugel. Siin on udu
Kontideni leotanud vihm, mis uhtunud hinge välja
Ta vaatab mind eemalt, silmad on malbed
nagu sinul

käed on külmast kanged
mu käte vahel on miskit õrna
sõrmed ei tunne, silmad ei näe
miski mu kätel soojust tuikab
või on see kevad
hoian ma päikest oma peos?
pisarad on pimedaks teinud
läbi hägu aga kumab
kumab kullast sooja
miski on mu peos, miski, mis kukub
on mu kätes, vabalangemises
nii eemal, tuikamas mu veres
seisan, käed taskus
silmad seletavad taas
.. oli see uni?

Esimesed pääsukesed

Tulin täna hommikul koju. Vaatasin lummatult Sõpruse sillal pääsukeste lendu Emajõe kohal. Mu selle aasta esimesed pääsukesed. On juba aprilli viimane päev, homme algab mai. Uskumatu. See kõik. Sassis. Väga. Ilus. Ülimalt. Valus? Liiga. Tuim ja tuikuv, tuikav, ja õnnelik.

Hirotta 4

Musta ilme muutus. Mööda koridore ja tube ei käinud enam rauk, vaid noorik. Nõtke ja sale, köitev. Ta pilk oli sama, kuigi - selle teravus polnud enam looritatud. Enam ei kaitsnud see maailma. Kas tal oligi tuba? Ta oli pigem kui tuul tubades. Liikumine. Naer. Valju, soe ja lõikav. Suvi. Üks päev tuli ta hommikusöögi ajal uksele ja ütles: "Kutsuge mind Klaaraks", naeratas ja läks. Püsimatu, muigas Jääger ja rüüpas oma musta kohvi, "kuid tubli. Hakkaja. Kuid püsimatu". Klaara.

Delirium

Land-like clouds
Unexisting fruits
bursting in my mouth
Lost in unseen forests
on paved streets
I drench in streams
run besides wolves
In this delirium
nothing is real
and everything is
true

Choices-choices :)

U2 Beautiful Day
not only the weather is beautiful.

*Feeling extremely torn and happy* b´cause I am having the wild time of my life trying to choose between towns to live and it is so so hard to choose, because both are wonderful with most wonderful people. Anyways getting a job in .. doesn´tmatterwhich would be the best start, I think. :P :D

And I guess that I have mentioned, that I am not going to Uni anymore and that I am happy? XD

& Very ~~ running to see my bro :D

Spring nearing

This blog seems dead.. I just have had too much life on my hands, messy, smelly, heavy life. And no 24/7 Internet access and emotions and decisions and and and yeah, in short: life :)

I do write, but a little and as a surprise to myself - into a notebook. I´ve disliked the oldschool way for years, but having a friend ask me "Have you written anything?" almost every week and a fever did the trick and now I use a notebook and .. keep a diary. All what we have to do to stay alive.. crazy things, messy, stinky things... .

And I am worried about my English.. I have a small reason for it.. anyways.. LIFE. And maybe I am just a really lousy blogger.

Btw I haven´t written any poetry for a while now.. but here it goes :)




One step further, two steps back
No peace granted, just unravelling music
Stumbling upon songs, diving into moments
Wet to the bone, blood a different red
for there is more Sun than ever
or did .. oh yes, I came trough the night
and found a morning bright, shiny and warm
As stupid as ever, knowing absolutely nothing
Disasters brewing and hopefully flowing away
melting with rest of the winter
leaving memories of beauty, pain, past
simply past
Now is now. Fresh and sharp. Simply
Perfect.



Written listening to U2 and in gratitude to my second favourite band and all others, who have kept me warm ;)

Tartus. Igalepoole tormav. Segaduses. Õnnelik. "Perenaine", piraat, "õrn, südamlik, hell" ja "lojaalne". Segaduses, kuid naeratav.

strangled in the lines drawn
swallowing oceans of words
to be busting trough boxes
rising from gorges
levelling with common ground
walking past, resolve in my eyes

flowerwalk

sevenfold
a pink paperslip
one single word
to admit is to rip
let the wind
take the pieces
the wind was cold
but brought peace
silence
the still
frightening
and yet - pink
the colour of dawn
a new day
hope
pink pieces blooming
as spring flowers
all i need
is courage to walk
towards spring
nevermind the cold
nevermind the sadness
i have responsibility
i need to hold
my heart warm
carry it to spring
sevenfold
anemone
blue anemone