The Ever Lake

Sometimes I feel like I am someone from somewhere that does not exist any more. The stories that unravel in my mind are about queens and lost kingdoms, but I myself have roots in loss. The past, the water flown, that you can never get back to - they say. Still the 8 reminds me something that has not actually been, but has always been with me. I remember a little lake or actually a lower spot in what rain and melt snow gathered in my home forest. Memories of pinetrees and sky and clouds reflecting on it's surface, a willow growing there, little flowers too .. different species .. a big beautiful and scary moth/ butterfly what I call Oleander resting on a rock on a summer day with soft golden haze, dragonflies and damselflies, blue and black .. all on that small clearing not bigger then 8 by 7 metres .. lost. I was so sad and angry. They turned my home forest, my magic land into a modern health park. Amongst other changes they dug the small water-gathering-spot bigger, into a pond .. leaving cut trees and traces construction on the site .. they didn't even clean it up .. they just destroyed .. so I felt and for years it was very hard for me to go walk in my most beloved place. Until surf practice when I ran there with others .. I learned to love this place again .. new views, memories. My heart rejoiced. Every time I go to my home island I try to visit that place, feel the obligation to do so .. but I often don't. Some things are so .. so important, so dear .. that they cut heart and soul like a blade. That forest has made me understand the meaning of being connected .. one of the most beautiful and painful parts of my life, of me. The loss of this mirror trough what I saw and loved this world.

Nooruse forest. The Ever Lake

Db 37

Db sat behind her desk, writing, doing open-close movements with her left hand. Open. Close. Open. A warm feeling at her palm made her turn her head and she smirked: it works. A flame bloomed and withered, but came back to life when she opened the little window. She closed her eyes and gave it life. Freedom. The flame disappeared, but she knew, that she had made another ally.

Inspiratsioon!

http://mellupesa.blogspot.fr/2013/07/maari-soekov.html

Shards

Young Aokuma. Raven. Quotes from Day with The Young Queen and King. All from pre 2009

Db 36

"You are still here? It is such a beautiful day outside"

Silver couldn't not be shocked everytime he heard this voice. Sometimes he felt like such a freak of nature. He had carried her to The Tower Of Black Birds, withered and weak on his arms and she had slipped into the eternal rest, death sleep of angels. Death! She had been dying in his arms. He still felt her on his arms. He still morned his mother and sister, both who he had carried to death.

He swallowed and looked at her. "Mother, do not sneak up on me like that!" or is this really her mother? This smirking creature with a straw hat ... He covered his face with his palm. This can not be. Jean overalls - so the ripples of Els's being had reached here. But this is not all that bad. It is better than he could have ever imagined.

"I'll be in the garden" - "There are audiences today" - "It is up to the youth now and I can retire and be a plain old gardener" and before he could argue, she left.



The sun shone high, she wiped sweat from her forehead and tried to dig out a dandelion. "I'll settle you in the herb section, don't worry" she was speaking with the little yellow, who had decided to grow among lilies. "It is too dark for you here, babe" and she petted the bud.


"Queen, landlords from Everleigh seek the councel of the Eldest. Pardon"

"I am busy here, go get Ira..." and she stopped.

She sighed to the baby dandelion: "They'll never let me be, will they" and stood up. "Tell them that I will be there shortly".

He had been at throne for longer than she was and still there are matters they wish to discuss only with her. She settled her spade and straw hat on a garden chair and followed the guards.

The rooms. She had spent such long hours between those white glittering walls. Now she could not stand them. No, she didn't hate them nor her past. She just preferred being in the Sun now. Thank you, girl. Thank you for bringing us the Sun, she thought as setting the final feather in place to walk out as The Queen, The Eldest, The First Angel - Aokuma. "This is all yours, come home".

Db 35

"I do not want all of you to do this" and she let go. Falling from skies. Looking from high skies. At one's self.
"Midnight, dive! To the Depths!" and like a hawk The Queen passed falling Db, soon disappearing to a place not heaven nor earth.

Db woke from her bed. Did I see a dream? Her heart ached. Got to make some tea.

Db 34

As he had feared, the law was firm. Of course, it is the base of everything! To seperate from chaos it had been formed, firm and strict. Rutheless. And he had worn it's crest, held it high with pride! King.. Of Angels! He felt his heart. Beating. His single life was the linchpin of all of this law, he was the law. She.. was the chaos. She was his heart. Thus she was his crest, his law. He looked outside, while turning his head he saw his reflection from the mirror. Short silver hair. I guess I am no raven no more, and smiled

Db misc 1.2

Peace was brief. Pain tore from shoulder to hip. A bright red flash. Taste of blood. Blood. Bloodsigns! "Base! And pressed her bloodcovered hand to the floor of her home, activating red runes running across floor, walls and ceiling, she fell unconcious into the dust in the sandrocks.

She smiled and disintegrated. Sun shone on the red rock walls.

Midnight

Gives off the feeling of Midnight from Db

Hirotta 6

Ta kammis oma veest tumedaid juukseid ja vaatas end peeglist, enda tumedatesse silmadesse. Mõtted, sõnad, tunded ja juuksehari langeb öökapile, killud klaasi, 7 aastat halba õnne. Hetkeks ei olnud vaikust. Seal, kus peegeldusid vastu vastuseid otsivad silmad, on teravate servadega tühjus. Tühi tuba. Öökapil lebav katkine juuksehari. Vaikus.

leave

get your clothes off
with them cast off your feelings
pains and aches
dive in without thinking
let the water take you back
trust, it will carry you
light, light, clear

Open

breathe out the anger
breathe in freedom, fresh
rip the veil from sharp eyes
let the heart be gentle
open thy hands
wide
the horizon is yours
and you the horizon's

First. France

I am in France. Have been for a month. Doesn't feel like it. I have had several problems here because of my health and so I have not enjoyed it fully. France. I can not speak French and am tired from the winter... but I like it here. I do miss my friends a lot, but am trying to be happy here, little by little. Yes, I can not speak French, can not be a part of this place because of it, but I can feel French - a vibe warm, sharp and kind. I can not understand, but I can look out the window over fields of yellow blooming trees and hear buzzars flying near, take the "little mountain path" to the glimmering lake. I feel that I have shelled up along the way, but things change, I can change. Just have to decide, who I want to be. Imagination is the limit - Db. :)

Hirotta 5

Klaara sisenes tuppa ja istus toolile. Õigemini vajus, lastes kogu oma raskusel sellele langeda... oma õlgadelt ära, hetkekski ... . Ta lasi oma peal kuklasse vajuda, nagu oleks seegi olnud raske. Ja siis ta hingas, surmraskelt ja sügavalt. Jah, tema jaht on veretu, kuid oh kui õel. Kuidas ta vihkas seda valutavat inimsüdant oma rinnus, oma südametunnistust! Ta oli peaaegu seal, kuid oli taandunud. Nõrk. Nõrku ei jahi. Nälg oli ta niigi kaugele ajanud, kuid mitte edasi. Tal oli paha, tühjas kõhus keeras, kuid pigem see ... . Puudutus. Ta õlgadele asetati pleed. Hääl. Lauale asetati tass. Lõhn - piparmünditee. Pisarad valgusid silma - ta oli kodus, lõpuks ometi.