to curse, this thirst
hell boils under ice
a vinecoloured inside

Db 20

The investigations had been going on for a while by now, through doubleagents the WQ intel had been seeping into their office, a handful of agents have been entertaining themselves with that mindbreaking game. At least it felt like that to him, a game. He had heard of God, an unseen entity and she felt like it, the infamous Db. Technology was useless, because she manipulated .. well, everything. An experiment went beyond all imagined or actually - as far as she can imagine. And she isn´t the only one, her daughters and Db are just the ones, who have been causing trouble - there might be others, other ... relics. Some people like that, immortals and other products of the C.R.Y. experiment are in custody or better said, in labs, investigated inside out. But she was special or less special than the ones unknown, because she does pop up on the radars and it is known, that she keeps whole communities off radars and that ... she was probably responsible for the Saraje incident. ... and they are still thinking of catching her, after what.. a thousand years and now.. they want him to be one of them, the catchers?! Idiots. - Do you want a drink? - Yes, sure. And thank you. Where´s the next one?

Db 19

We are taking over the investigation from the Western quarters, they have shown to be ... unreliable - ... has it got to do with the incident? - Yes. 2 corpses do raise a "doubt". It´s shut down for the time being and we get the extra work. Officially - the other agent looked at his senior with a face, what had the word question written all over it. - You know, what you need to know. And at the moment it means, that you are about join the ranks of the lucky few. Or not so lucky, like those 2.

Later, after reading the files the agent sighed and said: Western quarters are a living museum

in the heights withers a flower
coiled up in a night slithering
care or hate, who´s to tell...

Mõni asi on universaalne. Nt headus. Saadud heategu ei pruugi saada vastatud selle tegijale ja ka üldse mitte saaja poolt. See kandub läbi olemise kõigile, kes ruumis ja neile, kellega ruumis olijad hiljem tänaval v kohvikus kokku põrkavad. Tõsi, sama on ka halvaga. Kurbusega. Ja kurbus vajab headust, et ta saaks hajuda.

Päikselisi augustipäevi,
H

how to love trough life
no words with all words
is to live with an open heart

breaks off shatters wind carries away
this deflective mirrorskin to dust
be ready to be taken down

the desire to let go keeps me hanging on
for what would be left if i was free
so the standstill looking afar
trying to grasp it from here
and sometimes i feel.. that i have done it
finally

Db 18

She called back, what had been given in care - for she knew, what had been the cause of the odd natural phenonema of the past decades. Her safe haven had been taken care of, but still she felt like giving it a spring cleaning. Yes, a new circle. Cain. Sakura is handling it, she had took it in at the blink she saw him stumbling over the doorstep. The pain and fear of never having that what they did have had been far greater and Db knew it all too well. Still, it is nice to see, that it is possible. Sunako as a second or third generation immortal showed to be stable like her mother and aunt, still Db kept an eye on her in the form of dropping in bringing pots of new flowers and plants - sharing the same passion is nice. She herself somehow got used to being a lone living bombshell again and life went on.

Aitäh

Vaatasime eile õega, keskmise õega :) kõrvalhoovis langevaid tähti. Jutustasime. Elu on imeliselt ilus.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=endscreen&v=OOgpT5rEKIU&NR=1

The return

The next day he was in the house again, this time in the kitchen. He walked to Em and put his hand over her eyes and hushed and took away his hand. She opened her eyes, looked at him and Elsa, who didn´t understand what was happening.. till he did the same with her, this time whispering something into her ear. Again he took away his hand. Elsa seemed surprised, near tears, but she calmed in a second and smiled, her eyes moist, shining of joy. She went to Em, stroked her head, looked her in her eyes and kissed her on her forehead. She then looked around, found what she looked for - a piece of paper and a pen. She wrote down something and put it on the kitchen counter. They went to the door, Elsa looked back and waved to Emma, who waved back. And they were gone.

Tom came home early, he had felt uneasy all day. He found Elsa alone, drawing a picture and a piece of paper on the countertop, reading: "Pie, ask for Allison´s number". They went. Allison was the waitress, who had served him and Elsa in the retro cafe. Feeling even uneasier than before, he did ask for her number. A year from then they were married and Em called her mom even before.

When Tom asked Emma about that day, she usually didn´t say anything, except once. Em said, that an odd man in a green dress had come and taken Elsa away, back to be precise. And that she was happy. Very happy.


The existence of Elsa Franks.
Finished 10th of August 2012, a part of Day, started ~2005

peel off this black, this crust
my eyes see light, pulsing, radiating
mine, but yours?
a touch of hand full of words, warm
i go and am gone till called upon

The red feeling

That man, looking young, like a kid, speaking wise as he had lived lifetimes did not remain a stranger. He kept coming around, seeking her company and Elsa, let´s say that she wasn´t afraid of him anymore. He felt familiar. Whenever she was out uncompanied by Em, he came and stayed till the last moment, then he was gone, like he had disappeared. Without realizing it herself she began to wait for these meetings. No name, apparently younger than her, in peculiar clothes - looking like a young popstar runaway from the set in full costume walking by her side, doing groceryshopping. Out of mind. Tom noticed a new shine in her presence and the pull to her he had felt since the beginning got stronger and stronger. He watched her moving around the house, with Em and felt, that his broken world wasn´t so broken anymore. Only one crack remained, the one too close. He started avoiding her again, staying out late feeling guilty, for so hurting Em. Elsa was in the dark, until one evening she went to open the door of her loft and he was there. Tom. Like the first time they met, mr Monroe-week, that hat... A bottle of champaigne in one hand and a bouquet of red roses in the other. Rather surprised she let him inside.

To my sis

the words of heart
one buries deep
comes a miracle
says them
and there is light
this someone
like yourself
just someone
is a saviour, an angel
they might have buried words and wounds
yet they speak and free and light
inspire and lift, when lost and in dark
don´t even mean to
pass trough or stay
know thy gratitude or not
they change everything
and now tears are of joy
i heard those words
thank you,
for i had been waiting to hear them forever
you saved me


I have had more than one saviour, but You, my Sis, are one of them. Thank you for being here, for urging me to write poetry and yeah, thank you for this blog :D
Aitäh, et oled :D

do not follow me blind

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=fvwp&NR=1&v=gCBIG28On0o

~~

classically depressed

dear
i advise you.. for my own sake
to be honest
to honour yourself and all around
not to trust blindly
to be open
to be wide
for you are not /only/
a bird in a cage
but a ripple in
the ocean of life
dwell deep and listen
dwell deep
in yourself
question me
do not follow me blind
forget me
but remember the ocean
i'll be there


from Räpina, 2008 or 2009

to be winged

nearest to the furthest
a blink, a snap, a cliff
a wing, a brush of the feather
thy wing
nothing but blue skies
vast is he empty, so full
one´s mind lost in the connection
blank, a void, the return so blue
white wings, blue skies
red flowers, green moss
grounded next to thee
understanding water a bit better now
not missing dragons anymore, for all is
parallel, a crossing, pathfinder´s united
maybe speaking to trees even now
maybe remains beautiful, a no 9
like snow from skies
all teaches, all teach, yet freedom rules
now and forever, if chosen freely
take care of thy colours and lines,
my creators

A stranger in the doorway

As Tom was out on a business trip, the girls were on their own and making the most of it, having pajama parities every night with pillow fights and hot cocoa with marsmellows and pancakes in mornings, often after a morning walk to the market. Elsa let Em join her in the kitchen, together they made delights, favourites of both. For age 10 Em was quite a little housewife already, having taken care of her father for some years by now. Still, even she got tired after waking up early for the morning market and making breakfast and playing in the garden till lunch, so a siesta became a part of her daily routine. During that time Elsa usually took care of the not so noisy chores around the house, for there were numerous rooms in the house, mostly unused. A small mansion, Elsa thought, when dusting and wiping away. One day she got a fright when cleaning a small den - she was setting flowers next to a silver mirror when suddenly she noticed a man reflected in the mirror standing at the door of the room. She quickly regained her calm and asked the stranger who he was and what he was doing there. With her usual smile and glee, trying to so mask her worry for the child sleeping not far. Facing him, she didn´t notice the reflection being gone. What he said, she oddly didn´t remember, just his smile, air of happiness.. like he´d been waiting to see her, talk to her for a long time and being over joyed to finally have an opportunity. He left soon, leaving Elsa confused for a while, until it cleared and she forgot him almost completely.

Mornings are beginnings

The bustling, the shouts, the little crisp in the air with the treats given to the little cute girl made that morning market most remembrable. Sweet as a strawberry, glimmering silver like the fish in their tanks, dazzling colours and aroma of the flower stands... wearing a floral print summer dress, flowers in one hand, the other holding Elsa´s hand, Em walked home talking about the seen and felt. From the corner of her eye she saw an odd man looking at them. Em didn´t give him much notice, just a passing glance, for she was walking on air, in a world of her own so sweet of smell and taste, dazzling and bright.

Turning one´s back to the cliff

Having some personal storms, keeping the little crazy me inside, clearing my messes and trying to get back to studying after my days of freedom. I had my summer or most of it in 3 days in Tallinn&Riisipere, some too good and one too bad, so bad that it almost felt good. Btw not talking about the concert, some are not so amazed by Peppers´ performance in Tallinn, but I´m too much of a fangirl to ever do something like that. For most of the concert I felt sry for the guys b´cause the weather, it couldn´t have been way good to the throat. Or was I just reflecting my own state, I sort of got soaked standing in the ticket queue. Didn´t matter, would do it again :D Anyways, I feel like a storm has cleared, having left me a bit* confused, but alive and full of hope :)

Wishing us all hope, faith in silver linings,
Hel

Red Hot Chili Peppers in Tallinn

The red of my blood