Sometimes I feel like I am someone from somewhere that does not exist any more. The stories that unravel in my mind are about queens and lost kingdoms, but I myself have roots in loss. The past, the water flown, that you can never get back to - they say. Still the 8 reminds me something that has not actually been, but has always been with me. I remember a little lake or actually a lower spot in what rain and melt snow gathered in my home forest. Memories of pinetrees and sky and clouds reflecting on it's surface, a willow growing there, little flowers too .. different species .. a big beautiful and scary moth/ butterfly what I call Oleander resting on a rock on a summer day with soft golden haze, dragonflies and damselflies, blue and black .. all on that small clearing not bigger then 8 by 7 metres .. lost. I was so sad and angry. They turned my home forest, my magic land into a modern health park. Amongst other changes they dug the small water-gathering-spot bigger, into a pond .. leaving cut trees and traces construction on the site .. they didn't even clean it up .. they just destroyed .. so I felt and for years it was very hard for me to go walk in my most beloved place. Until surf practice when I ran there with others .. I learned to love this place again .. new views, memories. My heart rejoiced. Every time I go to my home island I try to visit that place, feel the obligation to do so .. but I often don't. Some things are so .. so important, so dear .. that they cut heart and soul like a blade. That forest has made me understand the meaning of being connected .. one of the most beautiful and painful parts of my life, of me. The loss of this mirror trough what I saw and loved this world.
Nooruse forest. The Ever Lake
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